Shoe0nhead's crazy Canadian adventures (feat Armoured Skeptic)
by Pablo Arthur Fawkes
Summary: Shoe0nhead surprises her boyfriend with a surprise visit, but what surprising adventures await to surprise the surprisingly surprised New Yorker. Surprise!


Shoe stepped off of the bus. She felt a chill crawl up her legs as the snow crunched beneath her classy pumps. Her skin prickled on the back of her neck. She needed to get inside, her small American frame not used to the harsh climate of the frozen Canadian tundra. She walked towards the place that she had been to several times before.

Arriving at the small castle, Shoe noticed that it looked very different when walking compared to on top of a large horse, or inside an overpriced Audi. She got to the gate and pressed the doorbell. A baritone voice enacted from the speakers above Shoe's head.

"Do you bring pizza and tendies?" the voice bellowed.

"I only have tendies, sorry." Shoe replied, coyly.

"Wait, Shoe? what are you doing here, eh? I'll buzz you in and be down in a minute" The Canadian knight reeled off in quick succession. The portcullis raised and the New Yorker strutted in, pretending that she didn't suspect that her legs had succumbed to frostbite.

She walked into the moderately sized castle and heard a commotion up the spiralled staircase. Shoe ran up, expecting to see her hunky man-partner mid-fight, covered in blood and sweat. As she reached the top of the stairs, there she saw a chubby, yet still somehow really muscular, man wearing a dorito-dust stained tanktop, desperately trying to cover his boxers with a pair of trousers that were slightly too small for him. Shoe felt an odd mixture of love, arousal, and extreme disgust.

"I thought I said to wait downstairs!" The cutely embarrassed hunk said, trying desperately to seem emposing, while struggling with the trousers that had become entangled around his ankles.

"No, you said you'd be down in a minute." Shoe rebutted

"Man, I love when you abuse the loopholes I leave in my speech by accident" said the esteemed gentleman, struggling around his trousers to embrace his lady-love. "Now let's go to the kitchen, so you can cook up my tendies!"

"Yes sir" She said, submitting to her man like a good woman should.

They entered the kitchen and Shoe took the packet of tendies out from her handbag. The cold air outside had kept them frozen, as well as turning Shoe's skin on her right calf a frankly worrying shade of blue.

"Hey, before I cook us up some tendies..."Shoe started.

"Us?" Skeptic replied, concerned at how she had started to claim his resources even before they settled into a love-less marriage.

"Sorry, honey. Before I cook YOU up some tendies..." She corrected her egregious mistake.

"Better!" The beautiful man-child declared.

"...well, I'm very cold and thirsty. could you make me some hawt chore-cuh-lit" She humbly asked of her most caring boyfriend.

"Ha-ha, you talk funny." he giggled at her silly American ways.

"I'm not the only one," she muttered under her breath.

"What are you muttering aboot, eh?" he said, oblivious of the great timing of the response.

While Armoured Skeptic slaved over the hot stove, Shoe looked around in the adjoining living room. it was smaller than you'd expect from a castle, though that's what you get from rising property prices. The main thing she noticed was the décor. the paint and furniture was mostly red and traditional, which wasn't strange for a knight. What was strange, however was that there were many dolls and toys from some obscure, kind of good sci fi movie series. There was even a full-size doll of some guy from it in a black suit. Shoe kept in mind to ask him whether that was a kink thing or what.

Next she turned to a poster. it was a black and white pinup of some lady in a very covering swimsuit, her hair curled up and looked light. She looked young, yet experienced. Below it where the words "Waifu of the year, 1945"

"Hey, what's with this? Am I not your waifu?" Shoe yelled at her bumbling yet well-meaning lover.

"What? you mean my pinup? Sorry, she was my first crush." He called back, walking slowly with the scalding hot coco that he made mostly to guilt Shoe into cooking his tendies.

He entered the room. "Good ol' Eva Braun!" he exclaimed, handing Shoe her warm beverage. She took a sip and felt her handsome slab of meat lay his arm across her shoulders.

Then they did it twenty times in a row, because Skeptic was having a bad day.

The End.


End file.
